Sunday, September 24, 2006

What's My Name Again?

Its been a month since I last blogged here and many of those who are fond of dropping in to see my latest entries are beginning to complain. "Apa ni kakak? Dah malas ke?" , they've asked me, laughingly. I wish that was the case... of me being lazy. But the truth is I've been busy like a bee. At least bees produce honey. I have yet to see what will come out of my hectic life style, of late.

Truth is I've started my Masters Program in a local university. And even before I could start my classes, I was offered a job as a consulting counseling psychologist. Add my roles as wife and mother to two young ladies, and you'll be able to imagine how many balls I have to keep juggling in the air!

I was told that this was gonna be a very quiet year for me. As any loyal reader of this blog can remember, a few entries ago, I was bemoaning my bumpy road. But, God has never been one to let me down, and as always He loves to amaze me with His miracles and might. What seemed to be impossible to reach for me was suddenly in my hands, magically. I never had doubts in Him. As for my own judgements, I use to be one that never made a decision without securing all angles.....until now, that is.

No one told me how hard it is to be a student again at 41. No one told me that my brains are capable of going into reverse gear when fed with numbers and statistics! Someone forgot to advise me to re-think my decision to go back to school! At the very least, they could have locked me up in padded room until I came to my senses.

Now, after my last lecture that ends at 7pm on every friday night, my face is the perfect picture of confusion, anxiety, bewilderment, and fear! Sometimes, I forget simple things like my name!! That's how bad it gets when my brains go on reverse gear. I laugh so hard at myself until its no longer funny. Even in my dreams, I am busy with assignments! Talk about "Nightmare on Ara Street." Instead of Freddie Kruger and his screeching long blades as nails, I have Freud and Statistics!! I can't escape from this one. There's only one way to go, and that is straight ahead.

I have never been the kind to run away from challenges. I have every confidence that I will not regret my decision to further my studies. I know for sure that the knowledge I am gaining now will make me more skillful at what I do. I truly believe that I will come out of this a better and wiser counselor.

But meanwhile, I will have to focus my attention on finishing that professor's paper and swatting for my exams in coming November. I guess I won't be enjoying much of Raya this year, although I was looking forward to what's his name coming home from London with his kids. Which reminds me that I need to email something to someone before not sure when. I hope I will remember my name when I sign off.

Which brings me to.....umm....err.... Oh, never mind. I'll remember what I wanted to say tomorrow....I think....Sigh! Good Grief...

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