Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Happy 20th Wedding Anniversary, Yang! We Made It!!

Dear Yang,

Wow! We made through to our 20th wedding anniversary after all! Isn't it amazing how time flies? I feel as though it was just yesterday when you proposed to me in front of Ayah, much to my surprise. The months following that day is a flurry of memories... wedding plans, honeymoon, making our home, having children and seeing them grow up into two beautiful, intelligent and warm hearted young ladies. We must have done something right along the way. Or maybe we were simply lucky to have found each other and clung on to one another through thick and thin, through sick and sin...

I am the first to admit that as much as I tried to be the best wife I could be to you from the word "GO!", I was hardly a flawless one. And despite my complexities and past traumas, you stood by me relentlessly and patiently. My strong, quiet hero. My savior. My pillar of strength.

You enjoyed the things I do best with great fervour each time I did it and you chose to overlook my shortcomings with much loving understanding. I can't begin to imagine how my life would have been without you over the past 20 years. We survived through a helluva lot, didn't we, Yang? We did it.

I knew I could always count on you to be strong when I was weak, be patient when I was tempestuous, be hard-working when I was feeling lazy. And the most amazing thing of all is your loving and quiet support in being there to hold me each time I was in pain. You are still doing that, even now.

My trust in your judgment and decision making hardly wavered, as you lead our family with full confidence and resolution. Your belief in my capabilities and intelligence gave me the inner strength to work my way out of the darkness of my fears. You saw my truest potential and you supported me unfailingly until I reached the top of my Everest. For that, I am forever grateful and indebted to you. You gave me room to grow and space to spread my wings. You gave me the freedom and blessings to be who I am without any explanation or apology. I am who I am today because of you and your love.

You have given me 20 years of happiness, love and joy which I treasure whole-heartedly. And in return, I hope to have done the same for you. You taught me to love selflessly and I hope I've grown confident enough to let you spread your wings and fly to whatever that gives you joy and happiness. I realize my own weakness and know that there is more to life than what I can ever offer you. My only hope is that I have made you equally happy, as a wife to you and mother to our daughters.

We have always been best of friends and enjoy each other's company. We can always talk about anything and everything under the sun. And despite the difference in our preferences and interests, we have never allowed anything or anyone to come between us. No matter how far we ventured out into the world, we always made sure we came home to each other.

I don't know what lies ahead of us. However, I am confident that we will make sure we will continue to have what we have, regardless. Life and circumstances may change us but I truly believe we will always be us. The us we know.

Thank you for being there for me when even I couldn't stand to be there for myself. Thank you for believing in me when I couldn't even see right. Thank you for loyally being in my corner and covering my back even when everyone else had walked out the door. Thank you for holding me each time I got frail and weak from all those attacks I suffered. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to be the best wife I could be to you. Thank you for defending me when I was facing my adversaries. Thank you for being such a gentle and giving lover. Thank you for your loyalty and honesty. You are definitely Allah's blessing upon me and I am eternally grateful for this gift every day.

I love you, Yang. I love you in ways I can't explain. I love you for reasons beyond description of words. I know for sure that I will continue to love you for always. Only Allah can repay you for everything you have done for me. I pray that He will. I know that He will.

Loving you consistently,

Your wife - Ana

“Happiness in marriage is not something that just happens. A good marriage must be created. In the Art of Marriage, the little things are the big things. It is never being too old to hold hands. It is remembering to say ‘I love you’ at least once a day. It is never going to sleep angry.

It is at no time taking the other for granted; the courtship should not end with the honeymoon; it should continue through all the years. It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives. It is standing together facing the world. It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family.
It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude of duty or sacrifice, but in the spirit of joy. It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways. It is not expecting the husband to wear a halo or the wife to have the wings of an angel.

It is not looking for perfection in each other. It is cultivating flexibility, patience, understanding and a sense of humor. It is having the capacity to forgive and forget. It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow. It is finding rooms for things of the spirit. It is a common search for the good and the beautiful.
It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal, dependence is mutual and obligation is reciprocal. It is not only marrying the right partner, it is being the right partner.”

— Paul Newman’s letter to his wife on their wedding

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