Friday, January 15, 2010
Proof of Love
Action Speaks Louder Than Words. Lord knows how many times this phrase has been used, misused and abused. And, truly, no one is to be blamed for this. Not everyone expresses their emotions through spoken words. Some do better by acts of love.
Many expect their beloved to say "I love you" frequently. However, if you're a bottomless pit, no amount of romantic words will ever fill you up! There are also those who have specific currencies for love, or at least the value of love. Roses, chocolates, jewelry, romantic dinner dates, expensive trips. Like as if the value of love is attached to the price tags of these so called token of love. Cheh!
Now, I'm not gonna be a hypocrite and say I was never like these shallow people when I was much younger. Heck, when my husband forgot to buy me a Valentine card many years ago, I was so upset beyond apologies until he was forced to call my mom to help me calm down! See!? That's how foolishly shallow I was. Although my logic then was to amass these 'tokens of love' for me to pass down to my children and theirs. Shallow sentimentalist that I was.
However, after being in an authentically happy relationship for more than 20 years, I have grown up to learn that a dipper filled with water by my husband is as wonderful as "I love you" because of the thoughtfulness behind it. Acts of affection took place of words of love.
Can you love someone so much to the point of becoming arrogant enough to think that you know what's best for them? Do you love someone for yourself or for who they truly are? Selfish love versus selfless love.
Over the past few years, I have had the blessings of God to learn about unconditional love. It means to love someone for who they are and not for who you wanna change them to be. We all want unconditional love and acceptance. And yet we attach conditions and terms as to how we are to be loved and shown affection to? Ridiculous, isn't it?
I have learned to love so much to the point of letting them be who they are. Respect the difference and accept their truth. I have learned that love is not enough to bring about happiness. Everyone has the need to be free to be who they really are. Everyone has the right to be loved as who they truly are. Trying to change the other person without changing ourselves is utter egotism. That is not love.
I have also learned to love myself through acceptance and understanding from the significant others in my life They accept me as who and what I am without question. Curiosity yields understanding. Understanding produces acceptance without having the urge to change anything.
When someone does something for you that they've never done before for anyone else, that's love. Even when fatigue overcomes, they don't sigh. They keep smiling and still do it. Anything for love. That is indeed priceless. The recipient of such acts will be made to feel precious!
Proof of love can't be seen with the naked eye. It can only be felt by a sensible heart.
“It is easy to lay claim to love, But the proof of it remains otherwise." - Rumi