A Measure of Faith

Recently, I had the pleasure of watching a rerun of Simon Birch. For anyone who hasn't seen this movie, I truly recommend this flick. It's about a little boy who was born so small that all his mother had to do to deliver him during labour was to sneeze! Although this movie was not based on a true story, I was inspired and moved all the same.

This story magnified the sins of a society that judged a book by it's cover. Simon was sadly misjudged and unappreciated by his community and those who were suppose to be significant to him - his parents. They didn't care for him because of his deformities. But God's love for him reached him anyway through his best friend Joe and Joe's mother. Wanna know why? Because the same society was also judging Joe and his mother. Joe was born out of wedlock and no one knew who his father was. Except for Joe's mother, of course, who took that knowledge to her grave. Simon helped Joe discover who Joe's father was, in the end.

But what was intriguing to me was the amount of faith Simon had in his Creator. He believed that his deformities were for a reason. He believed in the Divine Design. He believed that everything and everyone was created for a special reason. Simon blatantly pointed out, even to those who were not willing to listen to him, that God has nothing to do with bake sales or a priest sharing coffee and doughnuts with his parish. He also pointed out that faith is not about where you pray but it's about whether you believe that God is actually listening to you when you are praying. When he was told to go pray in a corner as a punishment for speaking out his mind, he said that faith had nothing to do with the floor plan! I laughed out loud at the courage of this little mite and quietly wished that I had half the guts he had to speak his mind.

It is easy for people to believe that someone has faith when they dress the part. But the devil can dress the part too! However, there is something that the devil had sworn he can't do, and that is to sway a heart that is filled with faith and sincerity. So, when you have faith and sincerity in your heart, half the battle against the devil is won. The other half, is left up to you. When you decide that you believe, then you will and you become a believer. Now, what you choose to do with that faith is the thing that determines how close or far you are from your true self and God.

Speaking of Integrity

"It's important that people know what you stand for. It's equally important that they know what you won't stand for". These are words of Mary Waldrop and I agree with her.

A few weeks ago, I decided to open a profile on myspace.com to promote better behavioral health among youths and matured adults alike. The experience that was waiting for me didn't meet my expectations. I began to receive all kinds of emails and friends requests from a myriad of types of people. I have to admit that some of these personalities scared me stiff! I mean, some of them had some porn pictures attached to their profiles. Obviously they were swingers on the look out for a romp in the hay with someone who might be on the look out too! But the thing is, I AM NOT! I received one particular email from a young man who wanted to befriend me. I replied saying that I don't mind for as long as he doesn't mind being friends with a 41 yr old married women with two teenage daughters. His reply was, "Does'nt your husband mind?"

I went on to explain the reasons for me setting up a profile at that site and that my husband totally supports my career and my intention of promoting behavioral health. I also told him that if it wasn't enough for him to consider me like a kakak to him, then maybe he needs to look else where. I also chided him lightly that maybe next time he shoud read the profiles of all the people he wants to befriend and make sure that they are single and available before taking the next step. I don't know. Maybe there are many married people who are still on the look out for better mates, but I ain't one of 'em.

Most of my counseling clients are couples with marital problems. There was even one husband who came to me to ask for my approval to divorce his wife because he has another woman on the side. I told him that he was acting irresponsibly and that if he wants to pull the trigger to ruin his marriage, he wasn't gonna get my approval for it. He stopped coming for counseling because I was honest enough to point out his lack of responsibility and he wasn't ready to face the reality of himself. I have no regrets as to how I handled that particular client. His wife is doing very well without him. And that in itself is the best reward I got out of that experience.

Many are afraid to stand their ground and stick to their principles of right and wrong when the so called perpetrator is someone close to them. But this is how integrity is measured. Because, at the day of Judgement, we will not be asked what we have read, but what we have done. There is no right way to do something wrong. No matter how you think about it, you will agree, too.

Dreams Do Come True

Ever since I was 5 years old, I use to follow my dad to his rehearsals with the RTM Orchestra. I use to dream of one day having the opportunity to sing with an orchestra with my dad as the conductor. Seeing all the big stars singing beautifully accompanied by a big orchestra always made me green with envy.

People who say that dreams do come true are often called optimists. Pessimists are those who never saw their dream materialize. Some believe that luck plays a big role in making dreams come true. I use to be one of those people. However, my idol, Oprah Winfrey educated me otherwise. She says that Luck is when Opportunity meets Preparation. God just proved to me, recently, that Miss Winfrey was right.

At the end of my 40th year, after 35 years of waiting for the opportunity, my years of preparation proved worthwhile when I was asked by my dad to sing a few songs for his tribute concert at Istana Budaya last 17th and 18th December, 2005. I had a time of my life!

Many anticipated that I would be nervous and freaking out of my skin from the pressure of performing alongside my dad. But I wasn’t nervous. I was excited! This is a chance of a lifetime. A moment in time that I have been waiting for over 35 years! No way I was ever gonna let nervousness get in the way of my fully experiencing the golden moment!

I made sure that most of the significant people in my life was present for the concert because I needed them to assure me, after the concert was over, that it DID actually happen! Just in case I was just imagining or hallucinating the whole event! Ha ha haaa!

Anyway, what I know for sure now is, dreams do come true. Some people spend their entire lives chasing a dream that proved to be elusive. I didn’t chase it. I just prepared for it, just in case opportunity ever showed it’s face, I was determined to be ready for it. So people, believe me when I tell you this. Dreams do come true. And when it does, you will realize that you can do anything your free will desires. Once upon a time, people say that man can’t fly. But now we have man walking on the moon, right? Dream it. Do it! Love it. Live it! Go to your destiny, baby!

Wisdom of the 40's

At the age of 40, I've learnt that:

Life doesn't begin at 40. Life doesn't end at 40 either. It's still deciding what to do.

No matter what you do, be it exercise or diet, you can't fight the Allah's design of you and the pull of gravity.

The so called "good skin care" only works for a while. After that, your face will need somethings more potent to make it look younger....a skin care that is beyond your budget. Or you can try looking in the mirror while you're lying on your back. But, whatever you do, don't look down at your br***ts. Because then you wil need to remain lying down just to ease off depression.

Your daughters wanna be like you and you want their youth.

There's no way you can be sure that you don't snore, too!

People don't mellow with age. They're just too tired to bother.

Hell on earth is when your clothes don't fit you anymore and you feel more comfortable in your mom's fat clothes.

No matter how many days you starve yourself, the damn weighing scale just refuse to budge!

Not caring is easier said than done.

Solitude is an opportunity to have a conversation with yourself.

Grey hair regrows every 5 minutes.

I still hate ironing.

People don't change. They just improvise.

The Angst of Aging

As I get nearer to the big 40, I began to re-evaluate many aspects of my life and what it consists of. Several one-liners invoke the words, "That is so true of me" to reverberate through my inner core. I’d like to share some of them with you.

"Insanity is my only means of relaxation."

"My mind not only wanders; sometimes it leaves completely."

"There is always a lot to be thankful for, if you take the time to look. For example, I’m sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don’t hurt."

"God put me on earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I’m so far behind, I will live forever."

"It’s frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions."

"When I finally got my head together, my body fell apart."

"Time may be a great healer, but it’s also a lousy beautician."

"The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then your body and your fat are really good friends."

"Age doesn’t always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes alone."

"Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain consciousness."

"It is bad to suppress laughter. It goes back down and spreads to your hips."

"Seen it all, done it all, can’t remember most of it."

But then again, isn’t aging a mental state of mind? Tell yourself that when that dang crow starts to leave its footprints on your face and you look as though you need to iron your face. Enjoy your youth while you still have it. Happy days to you!

Wisdom

What is wisdom? The prophet Muhammad defined wisdom as follows:
Do what you should do when you should do it.
Refuse to do what you should not do;
And, when it is not clear, wait until you are sure.

We all like to think that we are wise. And that is certainly one reason we keep making so many foolish mistakes. To pretend to wisdom is to ignore the reality of our own shortcomings. How can we learn from our mistakes until we are wise enough to look at them clearly? Humility and self-awareness are among the prerequisites to wisdom.

Action is the final essential component of wisdom. Knowledge not acted upon is merely a collection of facts. A donkey with a load of books is still a donkey. But when we act on our knowledge, we open ourselves up to wisdom.

If we listen closely to the words of the wise, and we act on them, perhaps we ourselves will one day be counted among their ranks. Then, our own words will serve to guide others.

- excerpt from Essential Sufism