Let. God. Drive.

After 3 years of working as a full time lecturer at a private university, I have decided to go back to my private practice. Many questioned my decision, mostly were concerned with my future finances. I guess its fair for them to worried, given that they don't know how well Allah has been providing for me before my full time employment.

Private practitioners were, and are still, seen as 'risk takers.' Many do not see private practice as "real work" simply because it lacks a fixed amount of monthly income. Private practice is also flexible with regards to working hours. However, during my full time employment stint, I have come to realize how draining work can be. It can certainly kill any passion you may have for your profession. Work/life balance is almost non-existence and self-care is often left out of our priority list. We struggle to make time for those we love. And the reason why we cry at funerals of our loved ones is guilt. Guilt for not spending enough time with them while they were still alive and well.

I saw my spiritual wellbeing deteriorate during my full time employment. I also saw how quickly my mother's memory spiralled downwards to the point where she wasn't able to do the usual tasks she was able to do for herself. That was when I had to stop. Enough was enough. I need to refocus on what truly matters in my life.

I am grateful for the times I spent nurturing and guiding young counselors into professionals with optimum potentials. I have met many beautiful souls during my years in that university and I do not regret that one bit. But as I have taught developmental psychology as a subject for 3 years now, I am well aware of whats coming in the future. Everyone ages and eventually, everyone will die. We were born, we live, we age, and then we die. But what will be remembered most by others is how much we have touched their lives.

I am grateful for the chance to continue lecturing on a part time basis. This way, I will only need to teach one subject per semester and still do counseling in my private practice and strike an awesome balance in life. God is important to me. My family is important to me. I am important to me.

I feel very blessed to have witnessed so much growth in my students. Those who started out struggling with personal challenges have now bloomed into very caring, empathic, and very professional individuals. I am immensely proud of each and every one of them. I truly am.

Now, as 2018 draws to an end, I eagerly look forward to next year. An abundance of contentment through new additions to the family, daughters working at building their own muscles to fly, and finally, making my dream come true for MY Confidential. Last but not least, continuing my work in crisis intervention.

How do I feel about the future? Am I not worried about the uncertainties in life? For as long as Allah is driving my car, I will continue to be in good and safe hands. Keep the faith. Trust in Him. Hold on tight.

Smile.