Bali High

Last week, I had the pleasure of holidaying in Bali with my family. Although I have seen enough of Bali through Astro's Travel and Adventure channel. I wanted to see, touch, feel and experience the whole thing myself.

By the time we landed, we had missed the sunset. We were already bone tired from the 3 hour flight and the hassles of logistics prior to our arrival in KLIA. We were hungry, sticky and really in need of a warm shower and a good night's sleep. We were greeted by Pak Wayan, a local who works for Nusa Dua Resort & Spa. En route to our hotel, the local scenario was a blur. Our tummies were growling out of hunger and thirst. Yes, we were served a meal on flight, but there's something about being on a holiday that makes you feel hungry all the time, no matter how often or how much we ate. Just thinking about that made me dread the diet that I have to be on just to shed off whatever I had gained on the trip.

When we reached Nusa Dua, we were almost crawling to our room from fatigue. The resort was so huge that it felt like a good kilometer to reach our rooms. But the view from our verandah made the long walk worth its while. It was simply breath taking.

We spent the next day touring Ubud with Pak Wayan. He urged us to haggle the prices of good we wanted to buy, something I hate to do because I am just bad at bargaining. Lissa has somehow gotten a hang of it. She even takes it to a tearful level! Yes, she would be willing to get teary eyed just to get the price she wants. That woman really knows how to shop! JC and I were just plain confused with the currency exchange.... everything was priced thousands of rupiahs.... My husband had stopped counting how many times I whipped out my mobile phone just to use the calculator. Finally, I decided to just resort to the best calculator of all....my beloved husband. I ended up asking him, "How much is this in Ringgit, Yang?" I lost count how many times he rolled his eyeballs everytime I ask him that question. I'm still laughing out loud now, as I am typing this in, because it was so funny!

On our third day there, my husband and I indulged ourselves to a spa treatment. The experience was just like the ones I have been seeing on Astro! As seen on TV stuff! It was romantic because they put us in a room together and although we were in the room with each other, we hardly spoke to one another because we were made speechless by the fantastic massage! Magic fingers.... those girls had magic fingers....

On our departure day, we managed to squeeze Kuta before going to the airport. But by that time, I was already homesick and missing the KL smog. How pathetic is that! I couldn't wait to leave Bali.

One thing I've learned from this trip, just as I had from my short Penang holiday a few moons ago, home is where the heart is. Right, wa...?

Blast from the Past

Lately, I have been keeping in touch with a group of people that I once knew while I was living in Swansea, Wales; back in 1984. And yesterday, I had the great pleasure of meeting up with them again at a reunion kindly organised by one of them.

It felt wonderful seeing them again after 22 years had lapsed and it was amazing to see how we are now in comparison to who we were back then. Most of us hasn't changed in looks nor character, gotten married and bared a few children (some more than others), almost all of us have established ourselves professionally. But the best part of all is how the friendship has remained the same as if we had never been apart!

The ones that came were the Upland girls: Isya, Liza, Nab (Jenna) and Eda. And then there were also the Bourneville Terrace Tenants: Kadir, Pau, Ameer, Asman, Abu, Roy.....and me! (Sorry guys, memang I sedar I ada ter-miss out someone...) And, of course, Zai who eventually married Kadir.

At the end of the gathering, as everyone was helping out to clean up the remnants of the BBQ and distributing some take away food, one of the girls were commenting how nice it would be if we could all meet up more often. But the ever wise Kadir, one of those who once lived in No.4 Bourneville Terrrace, said "Tak boleh jumpa selalu. nanti jadi menyampah pulak!" Hahahahahaaaaa. He's right. After all, there has to be some wisdom behind the phrase "Absence makes the heart grow fonder."

Tapi, mana lah tau.... To some people, "Out of sight, out of mind" applies more aptly for them. Hey, tak kisah lah.... Whatever floats your boats, babe! Happy Reunion, Fellow Swanseans!

Earth WInd & Fire: Elements of LIFE

They first entered my life when I was 12 years old. Their music would be playing continuously in my bedroom while I was doing my homework, just lolling about on my bed, writing an entry in my diary, crying of a heart that was broken, or jumping around with joy at something that made my life looked hopeful.

The influence of their funky rhythm, soulful riffs and heartfelt lyrics touched my life in so many little ways but somehow they mean a big deal to me even 20 years later. That is also how long I had to wait to finally get to see them perform live for the first time in my life! When my soul sister smsed a few months ago to tell me about their concert in KL, I couldn't believe my blurring eyesight! FINALLY!, I thought. I felt my breath left my lungs for a while, I broke into cold sweat, my heart was racing..... I was EXCITED!!

Last Friday 6th of April, was a hectic day for me. With a project presentation scheduled in the morning, a counseling session with a client planned in the afternoon, and a meeting with my consultant company in late afternoon, I was feeling swamped. I was beginning to feel drained out of energy and I was worried that I would be feeling a tad too "old" to be going for this concert that I have been waiting for the whole of my life.

However, determined as I was to enjoy myself with my husband and friends that night, after finishing off all the things I was suppose to do, I rushed home to grab some zzzz's to recharge my flailing energy. After an hour's sleep, I was ready. I dressed appropriately, knowing fully well that I wasn't gonna be able to just stand there like a statue when they play their hit songs.

While in the car with my husband and my soul sister, we were worried that we would be feeling out of place as we had quit the clubbing scene for more than 15 years already. Insaf, diri kita ni dah tak setahun jagung lagi lah kan.... However, we were relieved to see the others who also came for the concert. I met some familiar faces, fellow musicians, old school friends...... and wait a minute.....! Are those my uncles and aunties there, walking in the hall looking a tad lost? Yeah!!! It's them alright! I was not made to feel out of place either with my hijab and all. There were many ladies wearing hijab with their balding hubbies bearing paunches and all. And the best fact of all.... I was NOT the OLDEST one there! I could've easily been considered one of the juniors there that night! Seronoknya.... Terasa muda semula!!

When Earth WInd & Fire opened their show with "In The Stone", I felt like as if I was in seventh heaven. Bottom line: I screamed with excitement and pure joy everytime they played my favourite song of theirs.... which are basically ALL of their songs. They didn't disappoint me at all. Boogie Wonderland, Serpentine Fire, September, After The Love Has Gone, Let's Groove, Fantasy...... all the lagu wajib! They were just stupendous! When I looked around me, I could see almost everyone was singing along and dancing to the music like as if there was no one else there! And I thought I was the only one yang dah lupa diri.... This group and their music has touched so many lives!! What a sight! What a Joy!

A short note to EWF: You guys made the 30 years wait all worth my while. Thank you.

Displeasure with Blame

An excerpt from the book entitled “Purification of the Heart – Signs, Symptoms, and Cures of the Spiritual Diseases of the Heart.” By Hamza Yusuf.

“Poem Verses 150-54
Displeasure with blame is a well-known disease of the heart. Concern with people’s opinions and desiring their praise and displeasure at their criticisms are a barrier from achieving the station of excellence in worship. Overcoming that barrier is through the realization that there is no benefit or harm unless it comes from God, the Possessor of all dominion, Exalted and Majestic is He.

Furthermore, what is prohibited from this disease is what leads to the prohibited, just as Imam al-Ghazali has elaborated.

The perfection of sincerity is that you do not give notice to any praise or blame that emanates from people.”

“Blame is not something that we would naturally embrace. It runs against human nature to love it. But the problem is when the fear of blame is coupled with the urgent desire for praise and approval by others, which is often the case. Being concerned with “creation’s opinion” places a barrier between a person and the station of ihsan, excellence in worship. This is considered a disease because the result is guiding one’s actions in deference to the praise of people or in an attempt to avoid their blame or disapproval, irrespective of the integrity and soundness of ones actions.”

“Sidi Ahmad al-Zarruq once said, the truth has the power to penetrate the hearts of people – even those whose hearts have a seal. Humanity has the right to have witnesses living among them, those who are willing to defend the truth no matter how unpopular it may be.”

“The Prophet (s.a.w) said to Ibn ‘Abbas, “Be mindful of God, and God will protect you. Be mindful of God, and you will find Him in front of you. If you ask, ask of God. If you seek help, seek help from God. Know that if the whole nation were to gather together to benefit you with anything, it would benefit you only with something that God had already prescribed for you. And if the whole nation were to gather together to harm you, it would harm you only with something that God had already prescribed for you. The pens have been lifted and the ink has dried.”

“There is room for diplomacy and discretion, particularly of knowing when it is best to say the truth. This discretion, however, is not informed by the fear of blame, but rather by clarity regarding one’s objectives. Wisdom is completely different from seeking the approbation of others. The Prophet (s.a.w) said that it is the highest form of struggle (jihad) to speak the truth in the face of a tyrant.”

“Doing something for the sake of God is the manifestation of strong faith. Whether someone praises you or not is entirely inconsequential.”

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JC & LATON!!

Negative Thoughts

An excerpt from the book entitled “Purification of the Heart – Signs, Symptoms, and Cures of the Spiritual Diseases of the Heart.” By Hamza Yusuf.

“Poem Verses 121-24
Some assumptions are not permissible, such as holding a bad opinion about someone who manifests righteous behavior.

This means that your heart is convinced and you have judged him based on your heart’s suspicions without proof that warrants such an assumption.

There is nothing wrong with having doubts about someone or having a bad opinion of him if it based on sound reasoning and is not arbitrary.

Thus our bad opinion of some profligate whose actions indicate his (corruption) is not prohibited.”

“Scholars have been advised that one should have even beware of forming conclusions based on the bad appearances of people, for it could be that God veils their goodness from others.

“But having a bad opinion of someone without a cause is considered a malady of the heart: “O you who believe, avoid suspicion, for some suspicion is sinful (Quran, 49:12). The Prophet s.a.w. said, “Beware of a bad opinion because it is the most false of speech.” If someone says to you that a given person is bad, ask for proof. Without proof it is tantamount to a lie. Shari’a is based on proof and not conjecture.

“Having doubts about people is different from decidedly judging them negatively. Concluding a bad opinion in the presence of ample evidence is common sense. But when people repent, they should not have their past held against them. There is a hadith that says, “There are two things that no believer has been given anything better: a good opinion of God and a good opinion of the servants of God.”

“Even if something unpleasant occurs, there is good in it.”

Level 42

How time flies when you're having fun.....

I still remember the time when I was 5 years old. Things were so simple then. My needs were simple, my life was elementary and my only problem was to make sure I didn't step on my mother's toes. There were no worries about aging, looks or waist line. The only relationship issue I had back then was my constant bickering with my little brother. I wanted to play house and he insisted that playing with toy guns was more fun. When I turned 15, I joined the school police cadet and got the opportunity to learn using M16 and real guns. Way cool! My brother was right. Definitely more fun than playing the domestic goddess role.

Last night, in one of our late night chats, my soul sister and I discussed at length the aging process and how much we are terrified of growing old. When we were in our 20's, we didn't even think about the impending 40's that was inevitable. But now that we are in our 40's, we have nightmares as to how we will be when we turn 60! Definitely scarier than a Korean horror movie with that wretched woman crawling down the stairs!

Men often moan and say, "What is it with women? They worry too much about things when they should be living life to the fullest." But I bet you these men DO have these worries too..... only difference is they fret about their performance and stamina. Maybe they have bigger denial problems than they would care to admit.

Having turned 40 two years ago was not as big a deal as I thought it would be. But eversince I turned 42, my level of empathy and understanding for those who struggle with issues relating to aging has increased tremendously. I'm sure that I don't even need to mention that this understanding would include issues related to matters of the heart. And I don't mean any of those pertaining to the organic heart but more of the emotional nature of it.

Being a counselor since 1994 has exposed me to a wide range of problems, including marital challenges. Of late, the cases that have turned up in my private practice has been mainly about betrayal and infidelity. I'd like to believe that my maturity and own personal experience is enhanced everyday through my counseling sessions. I learn from my clients and they in return learn from me.

Hence, my soul sister and I both agree that it is indeed refreshing to sit and chat for hours with the older generation because not only can we learn a lot from their life experiences but also being in their presence makes us appreciate out youth...while we still have it. After all, isn't youth a matter of perspective? ..... Ping! Elevator going up!!